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Five Months In New York: The Ups and Downs

January 15, 2019 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT
Five Months In NYC | Family Therapy Basics

It’s been five months since I moved to New York.

Astoria, Queens is the place I call home these days. And, I love it here. It’s a 15 minute train ride from midtown Manhattan, and Queens is the most diverse county in the nation. Two things that are essential for me: 1) being able to get into “the city,” and 2 ) diversity.

As I hinted in my first post, I have a long history with NYC.

Today, I’ll share some of that history, and I’ll also update you on how things are going, in general.

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Tags New York
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Family Therapy Basics' Top 10 Blog Posts of 2018

January 1, 2019 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT
Top Ten Blog Posts of 2018 | Family Therapy Basics

2018 was full of inspiration. As I look at this list, I see how I’ve been motivated by traditional family therapy ideas, as well as my own interests in leadership, mentoring, and continuing to live and work well. Here they are: The top 10 blog posts, from Family Therapy Basics, of 2018!

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The Problem With Loving Your Work: The Role Of Expectations, Wages, and Passion

December 18, 2018 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT
passion.png

Recently, I’ve been thinking about the role of work in my life, as well as how I relate to work. This train of thought naturally leads to evaluating how well I am doing engaging with people (and myself) as more than a worker.

How much time and mental energy does my work take from me, or give to me?

How much of my drive and motivation does my work inspire?

These are a few of the questions I am asking in order to continue my mission for myself and other therapists: To live and work well.

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In therapist
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How To Structure Therapy, So Parents Will Participate

November 27, 2018 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT
How To Structure Therapy, So Parents Will Participate

For today’s post, I chatted with Kristin O’Rourke, a licensed clinical social worker in the state of New York. Kristin heads a group practice in Rockland County, where she and her team specialize in working with children and families.

Included in this post is a section of our conversation, during which Kristin details how she engages parents in therapy, when a child is the identified patient.

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Tags therapy
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Blog
10 Therapist (and Child)-Approved Activities to Support Kids with Anxiety
The Art and Science of Therapy as Craft, Part 2:  Crafting Questions
Therapist Self-Disclosure Simplified
Solution Focused Brief Couples Therapy Tips, with Elliott Connie
Family of Origin Exploration for the Therapist:  How to Create Your Genogram
5 Tips for Keeping Up with Therapy Paperwork
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy Client Types, and Their Relevance To Every Session
How to Ethically Offer Coaching as a Licensed Therapist:  A Step-By-Step Guide
5 Step Plan for De-escalating an In-Session couple Argument

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@driliwalter

I was speaking with a couple this week, and the wife explained that she retaliated toward her husband, because she wanted him to feel the way she feels when he does the same thing to her.

Of course, when we feel unheard, we will result to desperate
Focusing on changing our partner is a waste of energy. We can make requests and express our desires, but when this turns into consistent criticism, it harms everyone involved.

Oftentimes, wanting to change another stems from our own unhappiness. Ins
Sure, it makes sense that when spouses are best friends, the first thing we wonder is if they are isolating from having interests outside their relationship. In reality, many couples who are each other's best friends do enjoy separate activities and
Safe connection is a gift that heals us. ♥️
@realterryreal

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