As you read this, I am preparing to board a plane to New York City.
The past month or so, I’ve published several guest blog posts here, on Family Therapy Basics (a few more coming this month!), and I’ve simplified my schedule, in general, because my family has been in the midst of organizing a “cross-country” move. We are leaving South Florida and will soon become New Yorkers.
I have accepted a position as Assistant Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy for Nyack College, and my responsibilities to the college begin at the end of August.
I started this blog in August of 2016. At the time, I was struggling with the last chapter of my dissertation, and I needed an outlet to remind me that I had something to offer myself and my field. I began Family Therapy Basics, mainly, as I understand it now, to prove to myself that I didn’t need a PhD--that I already had knowledge that was valuable in my profession and to other therapists.
You, the readers, have made clear that what I offer here makes a difference for you. Thank you for never letting me wonder.
My commitment to you, and this blog, remains. I am excited to see how teaching full-time will generate ideas for this blog and my business overall.
There have been a few readers, coaching clients, and colleagues that have helped me put important pieces in place on the New York side of this move. You know who you are. I am forever grateful.
Letting go . . .
In her book, Adventures For Your Soul, Shannon Kaiser says, "Nothing is permanent; at every moment of your life you have the opportunity to change directions" (p. 22). She also explains, in the book, that when choosing a new path, most people don't think about the fact that it will come to an end. We assume that our choice will bring about a constant future, to some extent, which often leads to delaying our decision. But, in reality, most situations serve us only for a time.
One of the things I discuss often with clients is the need to create a business that serves the life you want to live. That can only be done by contemplating and evaluating what matters most to you, in life, as well as consistently making choices that align with these priorities.
of ownership
We are selling a home in Florida to rent an apartment in New York. While many would see this as a step backward, we see it as an adventure.
I'm not sure what the future holds. We may stay in the city, and we may not. We'll make our decision based on what this next stage reveals.
of attachments
Years ago, I read the book Wild Goose Chase, by Mark Batterson. I remember realizing, when I read the book, that I might never own a home. Owning a home ties you to a place; it can keep you from adventure (although, not always).
When I read the book, I was a recent graduate, and I was asking myself questions about my future. Owning a home was one of my aspirations. At the time, I never could have imagined that I would own a home, and let it go, happily, not knowing if I'd ever have the privilege of owning again.
Now I know that life always brings new privileges. But first, I must let go.
NYC Love
Perhaps in the near future, I’ll tell you the story of my unrequited love (until now, that is) for New York City.
My relationship with NYC over the years has taught me many important lessons. The most important one being: If it's not the right time, it's not the right opportunity (person, job, place, etc.).
There are ways in which living in THE city is flowing from what I am letting go, and represents what is most important to me and my family right now, including:
a walkable life
de-owning
community
cultural events
diversity
For us, the opportunity to live these values awaits.
However, I will miss the warm weather. :-)
I am considering starting a blog series on my transition to this new, New York life, and how it represents living refreshed, for me. If you're interested in reading it, please contact me, and let me know. Your response will 1) help me decide whether or not to write the series, and 2) let me know you'll be out there, "listening."
I'll be back on the blog soon.
xo,
Ili