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Couples and Understanding: Cultivating Presence in Therapy

February 14, 2017 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT
Couples and understanding-cultivating presence in therapy

As a couples' therapist, I've seen many couples in therapy over the years.  And, I've noticed that many of these couples have this in common:  One or both members of the couple have negative beliefs about their partner, because they've interpreted some of their partner's personal characteristics as character flaws.  

 

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In training Tags couples
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Solution Focused Brief Couples Therapy Tips, with Elliott Connie

February 7, 2017 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT
Solution Focused Brief Couples therapy-Tips from Elliott Connie

Elliott Connie is a Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) practitioner, author, and speaker.  He developed an approach to couples work that distills the essence of SFBT into guiding principles for working with couples. 

As a therapist who loves working with couples, I am always interested in ways to enhance my couples therapy skills.  For this reason, I invited Elliott to explain the reasons why SFBT is his choice for working with clients, as well as how it creates a contrasting experience for couples that have a history in therapy.

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In training, Theory Tags couples, Top, therapy
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Family of Origin Exploration for the Therapist: Family Rules and Structure

January 31, 2017 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT
Family rules and structure

In article four of the Family of Origin Exploration for the Therapist series, I explain initial steps for creating your genogram. Before adding more detail to your genogram, including relational patterns and dynamics, it's important to explore the family rules and structure of your family of origin, so that you can add the appropriate relational dynamics to your genogram.

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In therapist Tags FOO series, top
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Let's Talk About Therapy: A Roundup

January 24, 2017 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT
Let's Talk About Therapy

This week, I've been invited (inadvertently, by my Facebook feed) to reflect upon the work we do as therapists and consider its meaning in the larger context of change and society.  I've come across several resources and articles that have and do explore this topic.

As I look to be more human with other humans--including clients--I am always encouraged by those who ask questions about influence, power, strategies, and how these impact and impede real relational connection.

Today, I am sharing some resources with you that inspire me and my work. 

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Tags therapy
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Interested in information that clarifies, simplifies, and enhances your therapy work? You're in the right place. Learn more . . .

Interested in information that clarifies, simplifies, and enhances your therapy work?  You're in the right place.  Learn more . . .



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Blog
10 Therapist (and Child)-Approved Activities to Support Kids with Anxiety
The Art and Science of Therapy as Craft, Part 2:  Crafting Questions
Therapist Self-Disclosure Simplified
Solution Focused Brief Couples Therapy Tips, with Elliott Connie
Family of Origin Exploration for the Therapist:  How to Create Your Genogram
5 Tips for Keeping Up with Therapy Paperwork
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy Client Types, and Their Relevance To Every Session
How to Ethically Offer Coaching as a Licensed Therapist:  A Step-By-Step Guide
5 Step Plan for De-escalating an In-Session couple Argument

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@driliwalter

I was speaking with a couple this week, and the wife explained that she retaliated toward her husband, because she wanted him to feel the way she feels when he does the same thing to her.

Of course, when we feel unheard, we will result to desperate
Focusing on changing our partner is a waste of energy. We can make requests and express our desires, but when this turns into consistent criticism, it harms everyone involved.

Oftentimes, wanting to change another stems from our own unhappiness. Ins
Sure, it makes sense that when spouses are best friends, the first thing we wonder is if they are isolating from having interests outside their relationship. In reality, many couples who are each other's best friends do enjoy separate activities and
Safe connection is a gift that heals us. ♥️
@realterryreal

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