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Discernment Counseling for "Mixed Agenda" Couples: An Introduction

April 13, 2023 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT

In my group practice, I sometimes create trainings on relevant topics for my staff, especially when I see an increase in a specific presenting problem for our clients, and/or I recognize an opportunity to expand our services.

Recently, I offered a training on discernment counseling, a pre- couple therapy approach, developed by Bill Doherty and Steven Harris, for helping couples who are presenting with mixed agendas; that is, one partner wants to work on the relationship, or is “leaning in,” and one partner is not sure, or is “leaning out.”

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Terry Real's Couple Experiential: Five Lessons For Therapists

January 13, 2022 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT

Recently, I attended a Terry Real Couple Experiential. The Couple Experiential is a two-day couple therapeutic experience that involves five couples--each receiving therapy from Terry Real, in the presence of the other four couples, as well as therapist observers.

Terry works intensely, for at least one hour, with each couple throughout the two days. He also answers therapists’ questions two hours per day: during a lunch hour, and for one hour at the end of the couple therapy time.

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Family Therapy Basics Research Roundup: Summer 2020

June 2, 2020 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT
Research Roundup: Summer 2020 | Family Therapy Basics

It’s time for another research roundup!

This Spring, I taught Research and Analysis for the first time, to graduate MFT students. And, as expected, I I enjoyed it. I realize, as a former student myself, that grad students come to Research with many misconceptions. So, I began the first class with Brené Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability.

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Tips And Encouragement for Student Therapists

May 29, 2018 Ili Rivera Walter, PhD, LMFT
Tips and Encouragement for Student Therapists

Students starting their first field course (i.e., seeing clients for the first time) typically experience nerves, confusion, and/or worry. Worry that they won’t be helpful to clients, or don't know enough to provide effective therapy, as well as general anxiety about managing their studies, sessions, and often, the necessary assertiveness required to complete their clinical hours.

An email subscriber in her first field experience emailed me recently to request an article on tips for first-time counselors. In this post, I cover tips that I’ve learned as a therapist and supervisor, as well as those offered to brand- new therapists, by members of the Get Refreshed Facebook Group.

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Interested in information that clarifies, simplifies, and enhances your therapy work? You're in the right place. Learn more . . .

Interested in information that clarifies, simplifies, and enhances your therapy work?  You're in the right place.  Learn more . . .



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Blog
10 Therapist (and Child)-Approved Activities to Support Kids with Anxiety
The Art and Science of Therapy as Craft, Part 2:  Crafting Questions
Therapist Self-Disclosure Simplified
Solution Focused Brief Couples Therapy Tips, with Elliott Connie
Family of Origin Exploration for the Therapist:  How to Create Your Genogram
5 Tips for Keeping Up with Therapy Paperwork
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy Client Types, and Their Relevance To Every Session
How to Ethically Offer Coaching as a Licensed Therapist:  A Step-By-Step Guide
5 Step Plan for De-escalating an In-Session couple Argument

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@driliwalter

I was speaking with a couple this week, and the wife explained that she retaliated toward her husband, because she wanted him to feel the way she feels when he does the same thing to her.

Of course, when we feel unheard, we will result to desperate
Focusing on changing our partner is a waste of energy. We can make requests and express our desires, but when this turns into consistent criticism, it harms everyone involved.

Oftentimes, wanting to change another stems from our own unhappiness. Ins
Sure, it makes sense that when spouses are best friends, the first thing we wonder is if they are isolating from having interests outside their relationship. In reality, many couples who are each other's best friends do enjoy separate activities and
Safe connection is a gift that heals us. ♥️
@realterryreal

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