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This month is the one year anniversary of The Refreshed Therapist Book Club!

I created the book club last year as a way to keep myself accountable to reading, and I decided to invite you, my online friends, to join me. We have become a consistent community of monthly readers.

As a result of the book club, I have learned:

There are legitimate reasons for feeling burned out, and there is science to back it up. (Paradox of Choice)
Most questions should begin with “What”. (The Coaching Habit)
Marketing is not a dirty word. (Ok. I already knew that, but it’s good to be reminded.) (Be A Wealthy Therapist)
We, as humans, can realistically only focus on one thing at a time. (The ONE Thing)
There is a right way, and a wrong way, to apologize to clients and customers. (ReWork)
Courage, honesty, and vulnerability are contagious. (Braving The Wilderness).

To mark this one year milestone, in this post, I am listing a roundup of many of the past year’s book selections, along with their main points. Click each image to see book details on Amazon, or simply scroll through to familiarize yourself with each book.

Main point: “What people think of as the moment of discovery is really the discovery of the question.”

Main point: “This book is intended to get you thinking . . . to challenge (in a good way) some of your beliefs about your practice, about money and about marketing.”

Main point: “This book is intended to help you, the clinician, learn to organize and deliver powerful present-moment-awareness interventions in therapy.”

Main point: “The tools I share in this book will help you step into what you need most for you own soul's growth.”

Main point: “From birth to death we define and traverse our Lovelands--our inner landscape of intimacy, passions and losses.”

Main point: “Clinging tenaciously to all the choices available to us contributes to bad decisions, to anxiety, stress, and dissatisfaction.”

Main point: “This book is about knowing ourselves as artists, and therapy as an art form.”

Main point: “The special courage it takes to experience true belonging is not just about braving the wilderness, it’s about becoming the wilderness.”

Main point: “At any moment in time, there can only be one thing.”

The book club is currently open for enrollment.

In October, we are reading Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves, by Dr. David Stoop. Through reading this book, and participating in the club this month, you’ll learn how to face your family history and guide clients through their family of origin patterns.

Main point: “The pain and heartache you may have suffered in your family may tempt you to put your family behind you once and for all. But ‘leaving home’ is not that easy--and may not be the healthiest course of action, anyway.”

RECENT POSTS

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This summer, I reviewed recent research in the field of marriage and family therapy. In this post, I include a brief summary of several articles and one book that I read—all on the topic of romantic relationships and relevant for couple therapy. The articles are from the July 2024 issue of the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

Questions That Will Keep You Focused And Productive, When Life Has Other Plans: Four Steps for Therapists

Last year, I went through some personal situations that left me feeling, at times, at the mercy of events that were out of my control. As a result, I often felt frustrated—blocked from the things that I wanted to do, by my circumstances. This led to a sort of snowball effect that generated ongoing tension between my desires and my present responsibilities. (Have you ever gone through a similar season?)

How to Use EMDR In Couple Therapy

When one or both partners in a relationship have trauma, it can adversely affect the relationship. Relationship satisfaction is lower and marital divorce and separation is higher in those who experienced childhood traumas such as physical or sexual abuse, physical attack, or assault (Whisman, (2006). Results from a study by Riggs (2014) suggest that trauma experienced in adulthood can also adversely affect relationships, and that this effect is compounded if both partners have experienced trauma. As a couple therapist, these statistics can be daunting, as they point toward a need to help members of a couple resolve their trauma while addressing relationship issues.

How To Address Weight Stigma, and Clients' Use of Weight-Loss Drugs, in Therapy

For decades, we have heard about the “war on ob*sity.” Alongside that rhetoric, we have witnessed, been complicit in, or helped to fund the creation of what is now a $4.2 trillion worldwide wellness industry (Wellness, 2018).

But a fat body – a term used descriptively and in recognition of the fact that “ob*sity” is an arbitrary designation at best (Singer-Vine, 2009) and a pathologizing slur at worst – does not in and of itself warrant this veritable economy of body transformation. In fact, research has shown both that body weight is a poor indicator of health and that people can achieve good health at many different sizes (Bacon & Aphramor, 2011).

How to Keep Your Therapy Communications Secure, While Working Remotely: An Interview with iplum CEO Pankaj Gupta

Pankaj Gupta, CEO of iPlum, joins me for this post. I interview him about iPlum’s mission, the services the company offers, as well as why iPlum is the right fit for therapists in private practice.

If you haven’t already read Part 1 of my partnership with iPlum, see the five benefits of using a HIPAA-compliant phone solution.

5 Ways Vicarious Trauma Can Sneak Up on You as a Psychotherapist

Vicarious trauma is a term that is not unfamiliar to most therapists. Many of us were warned about VT in grad school, have attended self-care workshops that promised to resolve the effects of VT, or have simply resigned ourselves to white-knuckling it through each day. But do you really know how to identify vicarious trauma? Can you pick up on sneaky warning signs that VT is already present in your life?

Five Benefits of Using A Streamlined HIPAA-Compliant Solution for Phone Calls and Texts with Therapy Clients

More and more, therapists in private practice are choosing to have a hybrid or a fully virtual practice. And, as a result, technology, confidentiality, and compliance (and how these three components of business interact), have become more significant factors in our day-to-day work as therapists.

My own path to moving my therapy clients online began in 2014. At that time, I knew no therapists who were practicing online, and I knew even less about methods for streamlining my client communication. I began with a Google Voice number, and over the years developed a fully online practice with what I consider to be the best systems for my group practice.

Discernment Counseling for "Mixed Agenda" Couples: An Introduction

In my group practice, I sometimes create trainings on relevant topics for my staff, especially when I see an increase in a specific presenting problem for our clients, and/or I recognize an opportunity to expand our services.

Recently, I offered a training on discernment counseling, a pre- couple therapy approach, developed by Bill Doherty and Steven Harris, for helping couples who are presenting with mixed agendas; that is, one partner wants to work on the relationship, or is “leaning in,” and one partner is not sure, or is “leaning out.”

When You Don’t Want To Do Therapy Anymore: Ten Tips for Rekindling Career Energy, for Therapists Who Are Burned Out

Recently, I published two articles on the topic: Reasons why therapists are leaving the mental health field. In them, I covered ten of the most common reasons therapists are choosing to change their career path. (If you’d like to read those posts, here are the links to part one and part two.)

There are many therapists who are living through challenges in their work and career, and yet have not chosen to, or do not want to, leave the field. If this describes you, then keep reading for ten steps that will help you rekindle some career energy.

Five More Reasons Why Therapists Are Leaving The Mental Health Field

In this post, I continue listing reasons why therapists are considering leaving the mental health field, because there are many. And, if you are one of the therapists considering leaving the field, please know: You are not alone. If you missed the first post on this topic, head here, and read that first.

10 Therapist (and Child)-Approved Activities to Support Kids with Anxiety

If you’re a mental health professional working with children, you will probably agree that many of the calls you receive from parents have something to do with anxiety or stress. Child therapists have the amazingly important yet challenging task of educating and supporting kids in a therapeutic setting that is both productive and fun. When working with children as young as preschool age, it can be a very daunting task to keep things fresh and exciting week after week! So, how do we help children develop the coping skills they need while keeping them engaged (and not glancing at their watch)? Here are ten therapist (and child!)-approved, fun activities that address anxiety-based disorders and promote relaxation and stress reduction in children:

The Art and Science of Therapy as Craft, Part 2: Crafting Questions

For this week's video chat, Dr. AnnaLynn Schooley returns to discuss therapy questions as an intentional craft, and she covers four basic question types: single answer, open, closed, relational, and circular.

Therapist Self-Disclosure Simplified

Self-disclosure is a touchy subject among therapists. Some therapists never self-disclose, while others feel stifled by having a rigid boundary around self-disclosure. As I consider self-disclosure in therapy, I ask myself, “When is self-disclosure appropriate?” “How does self-disclosure deepen the therapist-client connection?"

Solution Focused Brief Couples Therapy Tips, with Elliott Connie

Elliott Connie is a Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) practitioner, author, and speaker. He developed an approach to couples work that distills the essence of SFBT into guiding principles for working with couples.

As a therapist who loves working with couples, I am always interested in ways to enhance my couples therapy skills. For this reason, I invited Elliott to explain the reasons why SFBT is his choice for working with clients, as well as how it creates a contrasting experience for couples that have a history in therapy.

Family of Origin Exploration for the Therapist: How to Create Your Genogram

In article three of the Family of Origin for the Therapist series, you learned 3 simple steps for how to begin family of origin (FOO) exploration: 1) read Bowen’s chapter, 2) observe your FOO experience, and 3) reflect on what you learned. Hopefully, your curiosity has led to significant understanding.

Understanding is the foundation of Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST). Bowen (1985) believed that if clients could understand themselves as members of their FOOs and as created by their histories, they could begin and continue significant change.

In today’s post, I offer the next step in developing understanding: Creating your genogram. I explain how to create a basic genogram that you can expand as you continue your exploration.

5 Tips for Keeping Up with Therapy Paperwork

In my interaction with therapists as a mentor and supervisor, I’ve learned that one of the main struggles therapists face is having too much work and not enough time. Many therapists find themselves overwhelmed by documentation responsibilities, in particular; this includes completing client notes, referrals, billing, treatment plans, etc.

In today’s post, I offer several strategies for keeping up with paperwork, so that you can stay on track and avoid the stress of falling behind.

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy Client Types, and Their Relevance To Every Session

In her 1989 article, Of Visitors, Complainants, and Customers, Insoo Kim Berg details three types of “client-therapist relationships” (p. 21). Her wording is significant, because she is not labeling clients; she is describing them in terms of their relationship to the therapist, the process of therapy, and the problem. These three relationships have undergirded Solution-Focused Brief Therapy theory and interventions over the years, although they are not consistently discussed in newer works. The client relationship types are widely applicable to therapy, regardless of theoretical orientation, making them one of the most useful concepts in marriage and family therapy.

In this post, I present a review of these client types, and I explain their relevance to and usefulness for all therapeutic sessions.

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One of the most common professional goals for my clients is expanding their private practice to include life coaching services. As professionals with a depth of knowledge in personal development and goal achievement strategies, therapists are ideal candidates for the coaching profession. Despite this near perfect fit, there are some important ethical consideration for therapists when offering coaching services alongside therapy, or when choosing to become professional coaches. In this post, I focus on offering solutions for these complications, in an effort to help you ethically practice coaching.

5 Step Plan for De-escalating an In-Session couple Argument

Most of us, therapists, have been there: A simple disagreement turns into an all-out screaming match in the middle of a therapy session. This is, thankfully, not a common scenario for most therapists, but it’s also not rare--especially for therapists who specialize in couple therapy.

In this post, I cover steps for disrupting an argument occurring in a couple therapy session. Intervention on the part of the therapist is necessary during some conflicts, because the arguments can cause further damage in the couple relationship. And, if therapists allow arguments to continue for too long, they can affect the couple’s sense of safety when in therapy.

The main goals of intervention in this case are to: