This post was originally published on August 17, 2021 and updated on May 18, 2023.

Social media posting is a must if you’re a therapist marketing a private practice. Even if you’re not a business owner, you may find that your social media is taking up more time than you’d prefer (gentle nudge: How’s your screen time report looking this week?).

Hey—like therapy, this is a judgment-free zone. It is also a “let’s be our best selves” zone. And, to show up as our best selves, self care is essential.

When I spend more, unintentional time on social media, I often feel the impact of that choice emotionally and energetically. I've developed a few strategies for myself, so that I am able to approach social media mindfully. Today, I share those strategies with you.

Yes, sometimes we need a break from social media altogether. But, we also need guidelines for engaging on social media in ways that are sustainable (at least, most of the time).

1 | Open your account with a purpose, and leave without lingering

Set a purpose for your engagement. Are you posting, checking DMs, connecting with potential clients, leaving a few comments? Decide your purpose, set a time limit, then hop off.

Social media feeds are enticing. Being prepared, with a time limit, will help keep you on track with your purpose.

Designating a device for social media use can also be a helpful boundary when trying to change your social media habits. Knowing that you only check social media on your phone, for example, and not on your tablet or computer, will automatically contain your engagement.

2 | Notice what's new, but focus on connecting

Whether you run a business or personal account, work to use social media to develop meaningful connections. Briefly peruse new posts from family, or people you admire, and notice the trends and themes. Then, move on to offering praise and support through comments, or DMs, for your loved ones, mentors, and/or potential clients.

3 | Try the CDO rule

Limit accounts you follow to three categories:

Connection: People who matter most (see step #2)
Discovery: Posts that are beautiful or inspiring
Observation: Information that enriches your life, or work

If you follow this guideline, you will automatically curate an account that is restorative, rather than draining.

4 | Share with integrity

Share intentionally.

Whether you’re posting a meme, an Instagram reel, an image, or a tutorial, share only what genuinely matters to you, and what you can support 100% through experience, or research.

Think of your social media account as an extension of your values. How are your posts revealing your vision, mission, and values (individual, or corporate)? Perhaps ask yourself this question before you post, or as you are creating a new post.

Filtering your posts through your values will:

result in ideas for posts, or content, coming more easily to you
keep you focused on specific topics, thereby eliminating confusion about what to post
clearly communicate your expertise

5 | Unfollow. Unfollow. Unfollow.

If a post, or the content of an account doesn't serve you, or your business, or it triggers you in any way, unfollow the account.

The last thing we need is to be pressured into doing more, or being different, by our social media feeds. Give yourself permission to subjugate your social media use to your overall wellness, and embrace control over the messages you allow in your feed.

Further, take the time to filter the content you follow through your current interests and goals. You may have grown past some accounts, or perhaps you find a few topics distracting. Now is the time to unfollow.

6 | Use the “hide ad” feature

When you see an ad, don’t simply scroll by. Notice the ad, and decide if you’d like to see more ads from the company/influencer, or not.

If the ad is irrelevant, or cluttering the feed you are curating, take the steps to eliminate it. On Instagram and Facebook: Click the three dots on the top right of the post, and choose to hide the ad.

7 | Do not compare yourself to other therapists on social media

Comparison can sneak in quickly when we’re on social media.

Crucial to remember, for us, is the fact that social media presents a facade—an image. Yes, maybe other therapists are making a million dollars a year (there are certainly some who are), have 5 streams of income, and actually do have it all together. More likely, these therapists are sharing the wins and not the hardship.

A reminder that I use for myself: “Do what you can, with what you have.” It keeps me focused on my unique purpose, abilities, and desires.

Embrace "no pressure" interactions on social. If you feel pressure, from a post, to have more (followers, income streams, possessions, and so forth), and it's not intentionally aligned with your goals for this season, ignore, or see #5.

8 | Take social media siestas, breaks, and retreats

Sometimes, a self-care strategy is not enough. It may be too little, or too late. We need rest.

When this is the case in your social media sphere, take short or long breaks from your accounts. Create a post that alerts your followers to your decision, and let them know how long you’ll be away. (As an example, see this post by @thesocialchanger on Instagram [originally posted by @blessingmanifesting]).

Put yourself first. Social media can wait.

Inspiration for this post

My ongoing strategies for preserving my mental + emotional wellbeing, while also embracing my love of social media (Instagram, in particular).

The article, "Make Your Social Feeds Friendlier," found in the July issue of Real Simple Magazine.

Let’s Chat

What one tip from this article will you try?
Do you find social media draining? If so, how?

Find free downloads to support your self-care and prevent burnout, in the free resource library. Register, here:

How to Keep Your Therapy Communications Secure, While Working Remotely: An Interview with iplum CEO Pankaj Gupta

Pankaj Gupta, CEO of iPlum, joins me for this post. I interview him about iPlum’s mission, the services the company offers, as well as why iPlum is the right fit for therapists in private practice.

If you haven’t already read Part 1 of my partnership with iPlum, see the five benefits of using a HIPAA-compliant phone solution.

5 Ways Vicarious Trauma Can Sneak Up on You as a Psychotherapist

Vicarious trauma is a term that is not unfamiliar to most therapists. Many of us were warned about VT in grad school, have attended self-care workshops that promised to resolve the effects of VT, or have simply resigned ourselves to white-knuckling it through each day. But do you really know how to identify vicarious trauma? Can you pick up on sneaky warning signs that VT is already present in your life?

When You Don’t Want To Do Therapy Anymore: Ten Tips for Rekindling Career Energy, for Therapists Who Are Burned Out

Recently, I published two articles on the topic: Reasons why therapists are leaving the mental health field. In them, I covered ten of the most common reasons therapists are choosing to change their career path. (If you’d like to read those posts, here are the links to part one and part two.)

There are many therapists who are living through challenges in their work and career, and yet have not chosen to, or do not want to, leave the field. If this describes you, then keep reading for ten steps that will help you rekindle some career energy.

Five More Reasons Why Therapists Are Leaving The Mental Health Field

In this post, I continue listing reasons why therapists are considering leaving the mental health field, because there are many. And, if you are one of the therapists considering leaving the field, please know: You are not alone. If you missed the first post on this topic, head here, and read that first.

Five Reasons Therapists Are Leaving the Mental Health Field

Each week, I coach at least one therapist who mentions that they are considering leaving the therapy field. This sentiment seems to have increased among psychotherapists in the past two years with challenges related to COVID (for therapists and clients), including a) sickness, b) working from home, c) relational and family transitions, among others.

Of course, each therapist has their own particular reasons for their desire to leave their profession. Also, from my interaction with thousands of therapists each week, I have noticed several common challenges emerge in conversations about leaving the field.

How to Find and Live The Refreshed Therapist Life

As a clinical supervisor and consultant to therapists, I meet many clinicians who find themselves burned out, bored, or numb after years of showing up for their clients, and neglecting, to some degree, to show up for themselves. The reality of our work is that in order to sustain and enjoy it, we must intentionally deal with the nuances of what it means to function as a therapist inside and outside the therapy room.

As therapists, we have the opportunity to be vocal about the ways we live out the intersection of life and work. Our voices generate more expansive and encouraging conversations that can lead to a sense of flow in navigating our personal and therapist selves.

How To Engage In Social Media Self Care: Eight Steps For Therapists

Hey—like therapy, this is a judgment-free zone. It is also a “let’s be our best selves” zone. And, to show up as our best selves, self care is essential.

Technology-Assisted Clinical Supervision: Benefits, Challenges, and Regulations

If you’re a clinical supervisor navigating the delivery of supervision right now, you may have encountered some challenges, including state, institutional, and technological limitations. The information I present in this post is intended to encourage the legal and ethical use of technology-assisted (distance) supervision in a variety of settings.

Dr. AnnaLynn Schooley and I recently discussed this subject as it relates to our experiences and our development as supervisors. Dr. Schooley is a LMFT and LMHC in the state of Florida, and carries licenses in additional states. She serves as a supervisor for master and doctoral-level MFT students in her role as professor for Capella University.

Start on Time, End on Time: HOW TO MANAGE Your Private Practice THERAPY Sessions

Whether you’re 6 or 60, there’s one thing everyone hates when going to the doctor; and no, it’s not getting pricked with needles. It’s waiting to get pricked with needles. Your appointment is at 2, but as 2, 2:05, 2:10 rolls by, you ruminate “I had an appointment. If the doctor wasn’t going to be available, why schedule at this time? Apparently, my time isn’t valuable.”

As our lives are perhaps more rushed than ever, waiting for any appointment or meeting is a hassle. However, a tardy counseling session is qualitatively worse than other late meetings. Getting started late is a broken promise in a relationship that needs trust in spades.

The Problem With Loving Your Work: The Role Of Expectations, Wages, and Passion

Recently, I’ve been thinking about the role of work in my life, as well as how I relate to work. This train of thought naturally leads to evaluating how well I am doing engaging with people (and myself) as more than a worker.

How much time and mental energy does my work take from me, or give to me?

How much of my drive and motivation does my work inspire?

These are a few of the questions I am asking in order to continue my mission for myself and other therapists: To live and work well.

Three Ways to Be A Leader Who Lasts

What does it take to be a leader? Thousands of words have been written on the topic. Here’s the truth: there’s no magic formula. But I do suggest three important elements to work on over time: Know yourself, know your purpose, and know your people. How to live that out will differ for every leader and every setting.

Mindfulness Tips for Therapists, for Work and Life

Mindfulness is popular.

You likely have worksheets, lessons, techniques, and theories that help your clients understand mindfulness and its benefits.

You understand mindfulness and its benefits.

But, as we therapists know, sometimes understanding doesn’t foster motivation, or change. The fact is, therapists struggle to implement mindfulness, along with a “self-caring” lifestyle (Kissil and Niño, 2017).

10 Therapist (and Child)-Approved Activities to Support Kids with Anxiety

If you’re a mental health professional working with children, you will probably agree that many of the calls you receive from parents have something to do with anxiety or stress. Child therapists have the amazingly important yet challenging task of educating and supporting kids in a therapeutic setting that is both productive and fun. When working with children as young as preschool age, it can be a very daunting task to keep things fresh and exciting week after week! So, how do we help children develop the coping skills they need while keeping them engaged (and not glancing at their watch)? Here are ten therapist (and child!)-approved, fun activities that address anxiety-based disorders and promote relaxation and stress reduction in children:

The Art and Science of Therapy as Craft, Part 2: Crafting Questions

For this week's video chat, Dr. AnnaLynn Schooley returns to discuss therapy questions as an intentional craft, and she covers four basic question types: single answer, open, closed, relational, and circular.

Therapist Self-Disclosure Simplified

Self-disclosure is a touchy subject among therapists. Some therapists never self-disclose, while others feel stifled by having a rigid boundary around self-disclosure. As I consider self-disclosure in therapy, I ask myself, “When is self-disclosure appropriate?” “How does self-disclosure deepen the therapist-client connection?"

Solution Focused Brief Couples Therapy Tips, with Elliott Connie

Elliott Connie is a Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) practitioner, author, and speaker. He developed an approach to couples work that distills the essence of SFBT into guiding principles for working with couples.

As a therapist who loves working with couples, I am always interested in ways to enhance my couples therapy skills. For this reason, I invited Elliott to explain the reasons why SFBT is his choice for working with clients, as well as how it creates a contrasting experience for couples that have a history in therapy.

Family of Origin Exploration for the Therapist: How to Create Your Genogram

In article three of the Family of Origin for the Therapist series, you learned 3 simple steps for how to begin family of origin (FOO) exploration: 1) read Bowen’s chapter, 2) observe your FOO experience, and 3) reflect on what you learned. Hopefully, your curiosity has led to significant understanding.

Understanding is the foundation of Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST). Bowen (1985) believed that if clients could understand themselves as members of their FOOs and as created by their histories, they could begin and continue significant change.

In today’s post, I offer the next step in developing understanding: Creating your genogram. I explain how to create a basic genogram that you can expand as you continue your exploration.

5 Tips for Keeping Up with Therapy Paperwork

In my interaction with therapists as a mentor and supervisor, I’ve learned that one of the main struggles therapists face is having too much work and not enough time. Many therapists find themselves overwhelmed by documentation responsibilities, in particular; this includes completing client notes, referrals, billing, treatment plans, etc.

In today’s post, I offer several strategies for keeping up with paperwork, so that you can stay on track and avoid the stress of falling behind.

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy Client Types, and Their Relevance To Every Session

In her 1989 article, Of Visitors, Complainants, and Customers, Insoo Kim Berg details three types of “client-therapist relationships” (p. 21). Her wording is significant, because she is not labeling clients; she is describing them in terms of their relationship to the therapist, the process of therapy, and the problem. These three relationships have undergirded Solution-Focused Brief Therapy theory and interventions over the years, although they are not consistently discussed in newer works. The client relationship types are widely applicable to therapy, regardless of theoretical orientation, making them one of the most useful concepts in marriage and family therapy.

In this post, I present a review of these client types, and I explain their relevance to and usefulness for all therapeutic sessions.

How to Ethically Offer Coaching as a Licensed Therapist: A Step-By-Step Guide

One of the most common professional goals for my clients is expanding their private practice to include life coaching services. As professionals with a depth of knowledge in personal development and goal achievement strategies, therapists are ideal candidates for the coaching profession. Despite this near perfect fit, there are some important ethical consideration for therapists when offering coaching services alongside therapy, or when choosing to become professional coaches. In this post, I focus on offering solutions for these complications, in an effort to help you ethically practice coaching.

5 Step Plan for De-escalating an In-Session couple Argument

Most of us, therapists, have been there: A simple disagreement turns into an all-out screaming match in the middle of a therapy session. This is, thankfully, not a common scenario for most therapists, but it’s also not rare--especially for therapists who specialize in couple therapy.

In this post, I cover steps for disrupting an argument occurring in a couple therapy session. Intervention on the part of the therapist is necessary during some conflicts, because the arguments can cause further damage in the couple relationship. And, if therapists allow arguments to continue for too long, they can affect the couple’s sense of safety when in therapy.

The main goals of intervention in this case are to: